Doctor Dismissal
4 Reasons "You're Not Old Enough for That" Is the Wrong Answer
Read on to find out what's actually happening at the base of your thumb — and why being told you're "too young" doesn't make it any less real.
I treat hands for a living, so when my own thumb started aching at the base, I knew exactly which joint it was and roughly what I'd tell a patient describing it to me. What I didn't expect was to sit in front of my own gynaecologist, describe it clearly, and be told I was "not old enough for that."
I was forty-eight. I'd already worked out what was probably going on before I walked in. Being waved off by someone who specifically treats women at this exact stage of life stung in a way that a generic GP shrug never quite manages to.
1. Being Told You're "Too Young" Isn't a Diagnosis — It's a Guess About Your Age, Not Your Joint
Perimenopause doesn't run on a fixed timetable. It can start in your late 30s, more commonly your 40s, occasionally later — but "you're too young" treats a wide, well-documented range as if it were a hard cutoff. It isn't.
I've had patients as young as thirty-nine with exactly this joint pattern, and patients in their late fifties seeing it for the first time. Age alone was never a reliable way to rule this out. It's just a faster way to end the appointment.
2. The Real Problem Is One Joint — And It Doesn't Check Your Birth Certificate First
Here's what actually explains it. At the base of your thumb is a joint called the CMC, held in place by ligaments — and ligaments respond to oestrogen. As oestrogen levels shift, sometimes years before periods become noticeably irregular, those ligaments lose collagen and become looser, so the joint doesn't sit as steady as it used to under an ordinary grip.
That hormonal shift doesn't consult a calendar. It happens on its own timeline, different for every woman, which is exactly why "you're not old enough" is such an unreliable thing to base a dismissal on. The joint doesn't know how old you're supposed to be before it's allowed to start drifting.
3. It Flares in a Pattern That Has Nothing to Do With How "Old Enough" You Are
Once that joint starts shifting under grip, the tissue around it swells to protect itself, and that swelling is what makes the next grip hurt more. That cycle — grip, swell, ache, repeat — shows up identically whether you're thirty-nine or fifty-nine.
What actually varies from woman to woman is timing, not the mechanism. Some of my patients had this at forty-two. Some didn't notice it until well into their fifties. Neither group was wrong about what they were feeling, and neither age was "too young" or "too old" for it to be real.
4. Every "Reassurance" You've Been Given Ignores the Graveyard of Things You've Already Tried
By the time most women sit across from me, they haven't just been dismissed once. They've been through a rigid splint that locked up their whole hand, compression gloves that did nothing, cortisone injections that worked for a few months and then stopped, and more than a few tubes of cream that made no difference at all. I've had patients tell me they've bought "every product on the market" before anyone actually explained what was going on.
Being told you're "too young" doesn't just fail to help — it sends you back out to try the next generic fix, again, without ever addressing the one joint actually causing the problem.
So What Can You Actually Do About It?
Clinically, I don't wait for a patient to be "old enough" before I take her seriously. I look for something that addresses the joint directly, regardless of what her birth certificate says.
That means any support I recommend has to:
- Support the one joint that's actually unstable — the CMC at the base of the thumb — not just wrap the whole hand and hope
- Do it without locking the thumb or wrist, so daily life doesn't grind to a halt while it's on
- Hold up to daily wear well enough that it's not another thing added to that graveyard of half-working products
That's the standard I hold any recommendation to. It's also what led me to FlexHold.
FlexHold: Support Built Around the Joint, Not Around Your Age
- A contoured support pad holds the CMC joint at the base of the thumb steady, regardless of what stage of perimenopause you're in
- Fingers and thumb stay fully free, so ordinary daily tasks stay ordinary
- Soft, breathable, low-profile enough for full-day wear without announcing itself
I left the link above if you want to have a look.
I started wearing one myself before I ever recommended it to a patient. I was never too young for the joint problem. I was just told I was.
— Diane